Dilettante:
All my life, I’ve been outside.
Bullied in school. Ignored at university for lacking “connections.” Looked down on abroad—because I was better.
Inherit nothing. Respected by no one. Even in my own country, I’m an exile.
Rational:
Recognition is rationed to the familiar. The outsider threatens what they cannot digest.
Dilettante:
But I don’t ask to be celebrated. Just acknowledged.
Is it so much to want someone to say: “Yes, you were here, and you were different, and that mattered”?
Rational:
Difference is tolerated only when it flatters. When it disturbs, it is silenced.
Dilettante:
I tried Germany. Italy. The Netherlands. I was still “the other.”
And if I did something better, it was worse.
How dare the outsider outshine the native?
Rational:
You became a mirror too honest to look at.
That’s why they turned away.
Dilettante:
Even at home, the gatekeepers ignore me.
I am not “noble” enough.
My family doubts me. My culture resents me. My peers forget me.
Rational:
You’ve become your own witness.
That is both your curse—and your freedom.
Dilettante:
But is that justice? Is the world just a stage where the talented play to an empty theatre?
Rational:
Sometimes.
But the echo still remembers. And so do I.